![]() The Master would not be complete without the extremely aggressive eyebrows, almost a masterpiece unto themselves. As you can see, the Master involves more than just a dope Fu Manchu and waterfall goatee. Okay, so I’m not sure if anyone could actually pull this off besides Master Pai Mei from Kill Bill, but it would be epic if someone did. Maybe the negative space created by the Reverse Hitler was meant to symbolize what the world would have been like if Adolf Hitler never existed… but then I realized that the dude just had super patchy facial hair. Initially I thought maybe he was a closet activist making a statement against anti-Semitism. I have a half-Korean, half-Irish buddy that used to rock what I coined “The Reverse Hitler,” a moustache with hair on the sides but nothing in the middle. If you’re currently rocking the same style as Kanye West, enjoy it while it lasts.īottom line, if you sport the Toothbrush these days you either have huge balls, you’re a complete moron, or just an insensitive douche. ![]() It’s rare for one guy to be such a dick that he completely removes a viable facial hair option from the slate. Narrow, tall, dramatic, and initially popularized by Charlie Chaplin in the early 20th century, the Toothbrush has been forever banished to facial hair hell due to its association with the Nazi leader Adolf Hitler. If you decide to go for the Handlebar, make sure you rock it hard and even if you end up looking like a complete poser, at least you might raise some cash for Movember. In these cases, it functions as a logical accessory to the individual’s style as a whole. While at times the Handlebar comes off as a little ridiculous, there are those few facial hair aficionados that pull it off with finesse. If you’ve ever been served an overpriced drink in San Francisco by a dude with a ridiculously manicured moustache calling himself a “mixologist,” you know exactly what I’m talking about. While the style of the lengthy moustache with curved ends has been around for centuries, the contemporary hipster crowd has embraced the Handlebar with new vigor. The Handlebar moustache has many different variations, but if you’re going to sport it, might as well go for the triple. It would take me ages to run through all the possible choices, so I’ve just decided to touch on a few top contenders: From the perpetual 5 o’clock shadow to the full untamed man-beard, from mutton chops to the flavor saver, one could go mad trying to nail down a suitable stache steez. Sorry ladies, peach fuzz if you’re lucky.įor those of us that do harbor the fascinating facial trait, the options are seemingly endless. If you’re female, only a chosen few are blessed. Depending on genetics, you may have been born with a full beard like Homer Simpson, or you might struggle your entire life to fill in that 5 o’clock shadow like Michael Jackson. But then there are those times when someone pulls off some shit that looks as natural as Whole Foods on a Sunday, and you don’t even notice it.Īs we all know, facial hair is not a luxury afforded to all humans. Just how girls know when someone’s staring at their tits, dudes know when you’re eying their Fu Manchu. Other times, facial hair is the elephant in the room that no one wants to address… awkward. When you run into that old friend who has decided to rock some aggressive facial hair how do you approach it? Sometimes you call ’em out right away and their face becomes the topic of conversation.
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